A RearNakedJoke.com Exclusive
The YouTube video of Brock Lesnar blowing up prairie dogs has caused uproar in the prairie dog community. Their spokesman, Dramatic Prairie Dog, or DPD as he’s more familiarly known, held a press conference today to condemn the shootings and to demand an apology from Lesnar.
“He’s a murderer,” DPD said. “A stone cold killer and we’ve got the video to prove it. Where are the authorities? How is Lesnar not under arrest?”
When a reporter pointed out that killing prairie dogs is not illegal, DPD flipped out.
“That’s insane!” he shouted. “What the fuck is wrong with you humans? You worship those filthy little ground hogs, and even give them their own day, but you can’t pass a single law against hunting prairie dogs? How do you live with yourselves?”
“What will you do about the killings?” asked a journalist in the crowd.
“We’ll continue to fight back.” DPD replied. “We’ve been successful at keeping Lesnar out of the Octagon and will continue to do everything in our power to keep him from ever fighting again.”
DPD looked around and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “We’ve got a secret weapon,” he said. “Digger, come out here.”
From behind the podium, a furry little creature appeared.
“This is Digger, the Wonder Gerbil,” DPD explained. “He’s one of the world’s top rodent stars. His first big break came in Richard Gere’s colon and he’s been clawing his way to the top ever since. You know Brock’s diverticulitis? Well it’s not. It’s gerbil-gonna-bite-us. We’re kicking Brock’s ass from the inside. And we won’t stop until he stops killing prairie dogs.”
The crowd erupted with questions, but DPD refused to answer any more of them. “I can see my own shadow,” he said. “I have to go.”
“But you’re not a ground hog!” a reporter shouted.
“Fuck you!” said DPD before disappearing down into a hole in the ground. “Ffffffuuuuuuuu!”
We’ll have more on this story as it develops.