Chael_Porno

(Screen shot from Chael Sonnen's new porno flick)

A Rear Naked Joke Exclusive

The feud between UFC contender Chael Sonnen and UFC Octagon girl Arianny Celeste is well documented, and quite entertaining.   Chael enjoys tweeking the Playboy Playmate on his Twitter account, and Arianny always fires right back.  Even Playboy founder Hugh Hefner got involved when he blasted Chael at a press conference recently.  But the Chael vs. Arianny Twitter wars took a bizarre turn yesterday when Chael announced that he was "going to make a porno" to spite the popular Ms. Celeste.

"We're going tit for tat," Chael tweeted to Arianny.  "If you're spit, I'm swallow!"

Sonnen then held a press conference announcing the film.   He told reporters that  he was well suited for the role.  "The movie is about me doing what I do best," he explained.  "It's not called wrestlefucking for no reason.  I've made a career out of dry humping guys so this is a natural progression."

The film, which boasts an all-star, all-male cast and is directed by former fighter  Matt "The Law" Lindland, is called Rael Chael in the Tael.  Lindland, who was present at the press conference, said it was a pleasure working with the outspoken UFC star.

"First I laid down the law," he said.  "Then I laid down Chael.  It was that simple."

Although Sonnen is the star, there are other big names in the movie as well.  Famed referee Big John McCarthy is even rumored to have a cameo role.

"Yes, Big John is in the film," Chael confirmed.  "He says, 'Let's get it on' and then we do."

UFC president Dana White was also on hand at the presser and praised Chael's acting.  "This guy is a fucking natural," he said.  "Anderson Silva better watch out, Chael's third hook is deadly."

When a reporter asked about any public relations problems the film could generate, given recent UFC controversies, White brushed the question off.  "Look," he said.  "There's no fucking rape in the fucking movie, okay?  So it's no big deal.  Now fuck off before I kick you in the balls, twice."

MMA reporter Ariel Helwani raised his hand.  "There are some people who are insinuating that this movie is somewhat, to use their word, gay,"  he said.  "Can you address those insinuations?"

"Here's the thing," replied White.  "I got in trouble for calling somebody a faggot one time, okay?  So this film is a great way to reach out to all the fags--I mean gay guys--out there and get them on our side.  The UG is going to love it.  Filmgoers from the UG and Matbattle.com alone will more pay for the production of this movie.   And it will give us street cred with the gay community."

If the film is successful, it's possible more UFC fighters will start acting in these types of films.

"We're hoping to get Brock Lesnar involved," Dana explained.  "We're already working on a script called Brockback Mounting and have big plans for the future.  I'll be tweeting about it soon."

Rael Chael in the Tael is due to be released in peepshows and on video in early 2012. Stay tuned for our reviews of this groundbreaking film.

(Photoshop by Inf0)

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